So your partner didn't turn out to be who you thought they would be, its a shame cause you probably had this thought of a happy family in your mind. You wanted to give your child everything you had and more, you wanted them to have a different experience, wanted to shield them from the pain that no infant, toddler or even older kiddo should ever experience. But then you meet someone, someone who cares for you and you think could this be it, I mean he understands you, he's patient with you, which now a days is like mining for gold. You don't want the shirtless guy eyeballing you, you want the guy that has a dad bod going in because he's so focused on himself making sure he's stable for the family that he wants to have that he doesn't have time to workout full time. He wants to be financially stable himself before he takes the responsibility of taking you and your kid in, and he'll do it happily because he cares for you, when he looks at you you can see your reflection in his eyes and you can sense he's only thinking about you and no one else. But first you date him, ask the weird uncomfortable questions that you wouldn't ask the shirtless guy, the longer he takes to respond the better the answer will be because he put thought into it. Sure you ask him his favorite color, hobbies, quirky traits, what does he like to do on his down time but you then have to ask about deeper questions like their views on religion, parenting skills, views on financials, and a big part is how he handles his emotions. How can they (men) complain about women being high maintenance when they get upset over every other thing and over react. And if you can't think of any, I can promise you Google is your best friend because I actually did it, I went down a rabbit hole of question hunting and I wasn't only surprised at how good the questions were but at how he responded to them. Going back the nights where I basically became a detective, were the good crazy nights that I never thought I'd get.